“We shall not cease from exploration. And at the end of our exploring Will be to arrive where we started And know the place for the first time”, T.S Elliot.
The book is all about finding your community and making friends. These people are the gateway to happiness. As an autistic person, I have trouble making friends. I am usually introverted at times and cheeky at other times. My community would be my family, one close friend, and the online blogging community. The guys run meetups such as “Good Drinks” to help people stay connected and make friends. At Daybreaker (Radha’s workplace) they have weekly meetups and lots of activities going on there. Something that I might like to do once the pandemic has passed
Now that COVID is here community and finding it is important. Half the time we are buried in our phones thinking that our followers are everything. In the book, they report that 1 in 4 Americans have no friends that they can confide in. How sad is that?
The need to belong is fundamental as it is a feeling of home and comfort. We need to learn to be positive. Every time we get stuff done our dopamine goes up. Its praise for saying “Good Job”.
The addition of social media
The cycle of the ding keeps us glued to our devices all the time. We have seen this in the Social Dilemma where the ding goes off and the person checks their phone. That dopamine goes off in their brain. Dopamine is the happiness drug.
The book talks about self-imposed isolation which is not really spending time with real friends and family but spending it on our screens.
What I want in a friend?
The qualities that I want in a friend is honesty, politeness, and hardworking. They also should be kind to others. The things that I would need to do to attract better friends is to learn patience, love, and accept people more, be truthful, and be kind. We should not have black and white relationships. There should be some grey.
The friendship cycle
This is really important to have. You have an inner cycle and you have an outer one. Some people are worried about FOMO (the fear of missing out) on all these events. This is where you really need to prioritize which ones are important and which are not. Maybe there is a particular one that your friend didn’t invite you to and you didn’t want to go to. Can you think of why that might be?
It is natural from time to time be frustrated at friends and family. It’s ok to have arguments with them.